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no longer on the sleeve...as much anyway...
10:13 a.m. @ 2008-06-17
I am realizing the biggest difference between the me now and the me back when i used to write almost everyday in d-land is i am simply not as much of an open book. something has shifted in me...not in a bad way...maybe not even in a good way necessarily. i am just a little more careful i guess. i suppose it is going to take me a bit before i can figure out what my journaling is going to look like now...
so we can just start slow and work towards steady...i am staying home with zoe now...and it is quite a learning experience. sometimes i think i am pretty good at it...and then other times i feel pretty pathetic. but i know this is like nothing else i have ever done so i am going to give myself as much grace as i can muster.
she is really amazing. sometimes i am just dumbfounded at how much personality she has and how compatible all that personality is with hubbylove and me. she called us "mama" and "papa" almost immediately...and strangely, just seemed to know what that meant...for all of us. some of my very favorite things about zoe are: she is sassy...very sassy...i smile on the inside when she stomps her foot in protest of one of our demands...you can't teach that kind of conviction...it just has to be in you. she is also very brave. she will unflinchingly climb, reach, traverse, and attack any and all obstacles...which is scary...but also, super cool. she loves her monkey completely and without apology. she is very good at soothing him when his fears (and hers...) of thunder get the best of him (...and her) by holding him close and kissing his head...and she never judges him for not having eyes...that just simply isn't his fault... she loves kisses...and more kisses...and not just as a way to avoid naps and bedtime... she is super smart and i think she is secretly fluent in like 11 languages...also she may be working on some super top-secret inventions that will no doubt turn the world of science and aerospace engineering on its ear... she twirls the hair on my neck when i am holding her...and that just melts me... she enjoys tapping her foot to good music and wearing her rainbow sunglasses in the house while watching her favorite shows and sitting in her green and white polka-dotted chair... she gets sooo excited when her papa comes home on his scooter...and squeals "papa tootoot!!!" she just loves her papa...which is amazingly beautiful to see...and it brings me unspeakable joy...
she is just pretty much the best thing i know of...
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